Sunday, October 3, 2010

The Duke F*CK list

Hey there aspiring writers, Karen F. Owen has found a new way to get an agent! And here’s the good news – you don’t have to write a spec script! Why slave for months over that pesky spec 30 ROCK or kill yourself over that original pilot? Ugh!! That’s the old way. That’s for saps! You want the William Morris Agency to come after you? It’s simple! Just fuck a bunch of guys and critique them. What could be easier?

Karen F. Owen was a student at Duke University. For four years she went to the local bar and slept with just about everyone in the athletic department except the Volleyball equipment manager. Sometimes in stairwells, sometimes she was so drunk she didn’t remember, sometimes two teammates in one night. Now you know what the F. stands for.

For grins and giggles she wrote out a thesis detailing her conquests in intimate and revealing detail, naming names and sizing sizes. She sent this tome to a few close friends and big surprise, it wound up on the internet and went viral in less time than that it took Subject #12 to complete.

To be honest, it’s quite entertaining in a “boy, this sure isn’t the way it was for me in college” way. And as a writer, she does a pretty fair job of describing the blowjobs she gave. Those passages did hold my interest.

The merit of writing this unauthorized thesis is certainly up for debate. On the one hand it’s an egregious invasion of privacy. On the other, this has to be great for Duke recruiting.

But now the Morris office is coming after her and already there are book and movie offers on the table. If this had come out a month ago Karen would probably be one of the AMERICAN IDOL judges today.

So put down that spec HOW I MET YOUR MOTHER. Start writing that HOW I FUCKED YOUR FRIENDS. Representation and riches can be yours!

It does my heart good to be able to help young writers.

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