BEST ENGAGEMENT – Tie: Shania Twain, who is marrying the ex-husband of the woman who cheated with her husband. And Hugh Hefner (84) & Crystal Harris (24). So Christie Hefner will be 34 years older than her new mother. Personally, I think Hef is just settling, but that’s just me.
BEST MOVIE – SOCIAL NETWORK (and not just because Aaron Sorkin wrote a piece for this blog). I hear THE KING’S SPEECH is great but haven’t seen it. So I may change my mind. That happened once before. 2004. MYSTIC RIVER was my ultimate favorite but originally I had said FROM JUSTIN TO KELLY.
BEST COMEDY MOVIE –
BEST MOVIE I WILL NEVER SEE – 127 HOURS. I don’t care how good it is, I’m not going to watch a movie where a guy cuts off his own arm. I didn’t like it when it was suggested for an episode of FRASIER, and I don’t like it now.
WORST MOVIE I WILL NEVER SEE – LITTLE FOCKERS. I’d rather cut off my own arm.
BEST MOVIE THAT’S STILL A CONFUSING MESS – INCEPTION. Wow but huh?
BEST TV DRAMA – THE GOOD WIFE. Sorry MAD MEN but THE GOOD WIFE has evolved into a spectacular show. Each episode is so layered, so engrossing, and yet seems so effortless. Other than Christine Baranski, I care about every single character. What’s so amazing is that this is a show on a broadcast network. Please let there not be a spinoff like THE GOOD WIFE: MIAMI.
BEST SINGLE EPISODE OF TV – Okay, this one I give to MAD MEN. The show where Peggy and Don spend a long night together, written by Matthew Weiner, is worthy of Chayefsky.
BEST TV COMEDY – MODERN FAMILY. One of the few sitcoms these days that is funny but won't sacrifice character or story for a laugh.
BEST 3-D MOVIE – LA BETE, starring David Hyde Pierce. The actors seemed so lifelike I actually thought I was in the same room with them. Oh wait, LA BETE is a play. I was in the same room with them. Okay. I can’t see 3-D. So I have no idea.
BEST BEVERLY HILLS HOUSEWIFE – Camille
WORST BEVERLY HILLS HOUSEWIFE – Camille
BEST FINALE – LOST. They wrapped up most everything and brought Elizabeth Mitchell back.
WORST FINALE – Larry King. As with LOST, it spent the last year in the afterlife.
BEST ACTRESS IN A MOVIE – Annette Bening. I don’t care what Meryl Streep was in this year.
BEST ACTRESS WHO PLAYS AN IDIOT – Rebecca Hall in THE TOWN.
BEST CANCELED SHOW -- TERRIERS
BEST FIRING – Kara DioGuardi off AMERICAN IDOL. Why it took two years and not two minutes I'll never know.
BEST FIRING ALTHOUGH SHE SAYS SHE QUIT BUT WHO WE KIDDING? – Ellen DeGeneres off AMERICAN IDOL
BEST WRITING STAFF THAT WAS FIRED – WALKING DEAD
BEST TALK SHOW SIDEKICK – the robot on Craig Fergeson.
BEST COMEBACK – Betty White. I've loved her on all seven TV shows she's been on and all twelve movies.
WORST COMEBACK – David Hasselhoff. He’s won this category eight years running.
BEST CABLE SHOW YOU MIGHT NOT EVEN HEARD OF – JUSTIFIED on FX. Tim Olyphant is a great lead, the characters are all very rich, and ignorant anti-Semite red neck assholes get shot every week. I hope Mel Gibson guests next season.
BEST NEW BOOK – Mark Twain’s Autobiography. Shania’s ex tells-all!
BEST DOCUMENTARY – WHO IS HARRY NILSSON? If you have to ask that question yourself you should really see it.
BEST AWARD SHOW HOST – Jimmy Fallon, the EMMYS
WORST AWARD SHOW HOST – Chelsea Handler, the VMA’s
BEST AWARDS SHOW – Southern California Sportscasters Association awards lunch. Hey, gimme a break. I was one of the winners.
WORST CROSSOVER PORN STAR – Sasha Grey on ENTOURAGE. It’s tough when you have to use your mouth to talk.
WORST STATUE UNVEILED – Baseball Commissioner Bud Selig at Miller Park, Milwaukee.
BEST STATUE UNVEILED – Tom Selleck in BLUE BLOODS.
BEST NEW VIDEO GAME – Anything created by the other Ken Levine. I keep hoping I get his royalties by mistake.
